her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
vagina is talking i cant
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
