They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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