i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
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So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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