I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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