What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it's like heaven, but drunker
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize