Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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