So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
