it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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