I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
zippers are such a cool invention
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
