Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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