Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
