Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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