oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
