Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
