no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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