you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
