He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize