Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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