you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
