So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
