I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
