Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
