What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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