Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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