For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
