he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
