I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize