Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
