toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
