So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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