8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
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I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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