He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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