so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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