In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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