After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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