Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
