I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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