Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize