Small penises have feelings too.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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