just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
