I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
