I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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