I wish i was in the wii world.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
