We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
