I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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