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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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