Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
