I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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