My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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