garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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