The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
