You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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