....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize