And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
