Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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