my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
