yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
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She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
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I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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