Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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